Post-Thanksgiving Preparation For the Remaining Holiday Season in Minnesota
The Holiday Season is Only Beginning:
Now that Thanksgiving is behind us, a pause for relief is well-deserved. With a number of post-Thanksgiving holidays coming up around the corner, this pause is short-lived. December is a busy month for most individuals, bringing the joy of celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, winter break, and New Year’s Eve. From planning family gatherings to vacations, the holidays can be stressful. With a tiny window of opportunity to relax between celebrations, the holidays tend to bring about heightened tension.
Whether your Thanksgiving plans went smoothly or highlighted areas of conflict, now is the perfect time to prepare for the remaining holidays and avoid unnecessary stress for you and your children.
Review Your Holiday Schedule Again
Most Minnesota parenting plans outline specific arrangements for December holidays and winter break. These schedules commonly include:
Alternating Christmas Eve and/or Christmas Day each year,
Dividing winter break into 2 to 3 sections,
Designating time for New Year’s Eve and/or New Year’s Day, and
Understanding exchange times and locations
Reviewing the current holiday schedule helps prevent misunderstandings and disagreements. Now is the opportunity to learn what works in your agreement. If there are heavily argued issues that come out of a lack of clarity on the schedule, an update may help future holiday seasons from becoming more contentious.
Learn From Thanksgiving: What Worked, What Didn’t
If your Thanksgiving revealed unanticipated challenges, please don’t ignore them. Instead:
Identify any areas where communication was lacking,
Determine if the exchange location and time was problematic - especially given the snowstorms from before Thanksgiving and after,
Assess whether the transition created more stress to your minor child(ren),
Create a list of a perfect holiday schedule and plan based on what happened over Thanksgiving,
Discuss top three changes with co-parent to determine agreements if any are successful, and
Document any updated agreements in writing as a Stipulation (order for the court’s signature).
Pre-emptive planning can prevent repeated conflict during the holidays.
Clear Communication is Key to Successful Holiday Transitions
When the holidays come up, it is easy to forget plans and schedules that are not necessarily your own. Communication with the other parent may be difficult. However, documentation of agreements serves as a helpful reminder to everyone. As the holiday approaches, a friendly reminder of the following is helpful for avoiding confusion and disagreements. The following may be helpful in writing:
Confirmation of pick-up and drop-off times at least a day in advance or more,
Discuss travel plans - sometimes court orders require providing itineraries and flight details at least 30 days before traveling,
Share important updates about school closures, winter activities, doctor appointments especially given flu season,
Communicate as early as possible any late pick up or drop offs with the reason for delay such as snowstorms or blizzards, and
Remain flexible for drive-times.
The Experience Means More Than the Date on the Calendar
Parents, especially newly separated or divorced, feel frustrated when holiday traditions are disrupted by a change. However, children sense this frustration, which amplifies their own sense of disappointment and sadness. Rather than viewing the change in a negative way, communicating the positive changes may help ease the issue.
Suggested methods for managing the holidays are as follows:
Celebrate the holiday on a different day with the same tradition,
Discuss with your child the opportunity to share the holiday twice while creating a list of ideas for new activities, and
Create new shared traditions - especially this year with the newly launched month-long Minnesota Winteropolis celebration, which replaced Holidazzle
When the Schedule Isn’t Working
For some families, the winter holidays highlight deeper co-parenting issues including the following:
Frequent cancellations or last-minute changes without a reasonable basis,
Non-communication of plans and expectations for travel, and
Violations of the parenting time schedule, which can have detrimental effects in the future,
If your holiday schedule is a source of conflict, you should consider if an update in schedule makes sense.
Final Thoughts
The weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year’s is stressful. If you’re unsure about your holiday schedule or experiencing disputes with the other parent, now is the time to address it before the holidays begin again.
If you need help interpreting, enforcing, or modifying your holiday parenting time order, please contact us today to schedule a consultation.
